Top Ten Blogging Confessions

Top Ten Tuesday is hosted over at The Broke and the Bookish! 

This week's topic: Top Ten Blogging Confessions

My Top Ten* Blogging Confessions: 

1. I am the absolute worst at keeping a schedule by myself. When it comes to blog tours and whatnot, I'm fine. I have a deadline and I GOT THIS. People are counting on me for that post to be up and I get that bugger up, even if I have to stay up until some unmentionable hour in the morning to make it happen (*cough* possibly today... *cough*) But when it comes to reviews that are all me? I AM TERRIBLE. I keep my reading up just fine, but review-writing/posting on an actual schedule doesn't work very well for me. It just happens when it happens.

2. I read every single comment everyone ever posts on my blog, but I suck at replying. Partly because of TIME, but mostly because I always wonder if anyone actually comes back to check. The blogger comment system thingy doesn't alert you or anything if a person replies, so if you don't come back to see my reply, then you'll never know I replied, and that just makes me sad. (If I started replying, would you come back and look?)

3. I am a mood reader. BIG TIME. I have tried and tried to change this and be the type of person who can have a set TBR who never has to worry about whether or not they've read a book on time to review it. But I just can't. It never fails to end terribly for me. When I FORCE myself to read a book strictly because I want to review it on a certain date, I end up liking that book less than I would have if I'd waited until I was in the mood to read it, and that's just not fair. To anybody. 

4. My list of books I've read? It's a lie. Sort of. Remember what I said in #3? (You should, since you just read it.) I'm a mood reader. I read things when I feel like it, when they look good to me. So let's say I'm on a blog tour and I get this book. It lands in my inbox and I'm all excited about it, happy dancing around the house like a lunatic. But OH WAIT. I'm in the middle of some other book. I'm not breaking that up in the middle and, technically, I shouldn't/don't/wouldn't have time to read the book that just landed in my inbox. So I read it anyway. I read it fast--like in a few hours--but don't mark it on Goodreads or anything. Then, when I'm about to review the book for the blog tour, I re-read it real fast and mark it then. So it's all an illusion because I'm paranoid, as if anyone actually cares when I read what. 

5. I am the most self-conscious person ever. I know, I know. A lot of people read that and are like "HA NO. That's me." But seriously. I am so critical of everything I do, and that kind of doubles as far as blogging goes. I have so many ideas for things, I have so many things I want to do, but I worry so much about how they'll be received. And not even because I think people would think it's stupid. More because I think people just WOULDN'T NOTICE. And that would make me sad.

6. I'm pretty sure I have more blogging friends than real life friends. Which is so sad. I should try to fix this. But I'm not very good with people. I'm the absolute BEST at saying the wrong things, and am so bad at talking about things that other people might like. I'm good at talking with my family, I'm good at talking about books/authors I love, and I'm good at talking about The Walking Dead. And a few other things, but they don't do much for me, either.

7. My bookshelves are almost always a mess. Part of the reason for that is probably the fact that I have too many books for my bookshelves. I have a bunch of stacks in my closet area for the books that don't fit on my shelves--and most of those books are unread. Another part of the reason for this is because I am an obsessive re-reader. Not whole books or anything--I try to keep that to one a month, since I started my monthly re-read (though I need to be sure to do that this month, since I missed June!). I like to re-read my favorite parts of books. Sometimes because I need a laugh, sometimes because I need my heart to flutter, sometimes because I need to cry, and sometimes because I just remembered that one part in that one book and can't concentrate on anything else until I've read that part again. So I'll grab the book, do my little re-read, and then it'll end up in a stack on my bedside table/next to my bed. You could tell what my favorites are if you kept an eye on which books spent more time next to my bed than in their place on the shelf. 

8. I rarely ever--like, so rare that it's in the neighborhood of NEVER--read in silence. I always have music playing. My radio, a CD that I'm in the mood for, or whichever Pandora station I'm currently obsessed with (last was Eminem, now it's Dave Matthews Band). This is how I make such strong connections between some books and specific bands/songs/albums. Paramore's Brand New Eyes album never fails to make me thing of The Vampire Diaries books and other beautiful series by L.J. Smith. Because that's what I listened to as I read them. Lady Gaga's Bad Romance will forever take me back to the third and fourth Night World books by L.J. Smith (and also, Canada). Listening to music just enhances my reading experience, and helps me focus, in a way. 

9. I wish I was better at designing things. I want so badly to have one of those super fabulous blogs, the kind that make you wonder who the eff did that for them and then you find out OH WAIT. They did. HOOOOOOW? I heart the way my blog looks now--which is a huge improvement to how it started out, let me tell you--but still. I also wish I could make better graphics for things and knew more about how to work things like Photoshop and Gimp and whatever to make cool stuff. I just really, really like pretty things.

10. My NetGalley feedback ratio? Is so embarrassing. Like, I can't even. A big part is that I forget to input my reviews. And then all at once I go back to do it all, and end up getting bored after three. So it's a slow going process for me. But the other part is the fact that I have a couple super good autoapprovals and a twitchy finger. And the OTHER part is that I've had my NG account for a while. Like since before I really got a grasp on everything and went cray cray with being able to review things. I was so stupid, and I'm paying for it now, but I'll deal. I mean, how terrible could it be to read a bunch of books and write some reviews? There are worse things. 

I think a lot of people have bad NG ratios, though, right? We're all trying to make ours better. I think that's a big focus of mine this summer. Because why not?

11. I. Feel. So. Much. Pressure. I love blogging. I love it more than I could ever describe. I've made so many friends this way, and I enjoy having a place where people don't think my book talk is stupid. Where people don't get pissed because all I ever seem interested in is reading and books and Jennifer L. Armentrout (yes, this is an argument that has been had in real life--"Oh, it's not about Jennifer L. Armentrout, so clearly you don't want to talk about it." It was a stupid conversation). But goodness, it feels so hard to keep up sometimes. In real life, I tend to be the kind of person who looks in on other people doing their thing. The quiet kid in the back of the classroom laughing at the jokes everyone else makes. That's kind of carried over to me in the blogging world, too. There are so many people and I have so many friends, but it's hard to match up. I haven't read that book everyone else has (but goodness, I'm working on it!), I don't do all the cool stuff everyone else does, I don't have as great of a handle on things as everyone else does, and I'm straight-up not as good at what I do (but I try!). I feel pressure to live up to what everyone else does. And I know it's stupid--I know, I know, I know--but I can't help it. 

Then again, I'm kind of having a pity party right now, aren't I? I need to move on with my life. I liked this post, though. It was a nice little vent. I'll need to do it again sometime. :)

*Eleven

So, what do you think? What are your blogging/bookish confessions? Did you do a TTT post? Link me up!